Gisele Pelicot is a hero: Her bravery and courage should serve as an example for everyone, but males in particular.
She is a hero, Gisele Pelicot.
Dominique Pelicot, her spouse, has confessed before a French court that he put her under drugging to sleep, sexually assaulted her, and enlisted the help of numerous men to enter their shared bed and rape her as well, every night for ten years.
Gisele Pelicot bravely gave up her right to remain anonymous during the trial so that the case could be heard in public, which is how we came to know Dominique Pelicot’s name and the horrifying details of the horrific crimes committed by him and his group of fellow rapists, the majority of whom were residents of the small French town in which they lived. She made the difficult decision to go public with her story in order to hold her perpetrators accountable and discourage other men from committing the same crimes under the mistaken impression that they would get away with it.
This remarkable 72-year-old woman, who has endured unspeakable anguish and suffering, went above and beyond last week, persuading the court presiding over the case to make the public and media accessible video recordings of the rapes.
“If these same hearings, through their publicity, help prevent other women from having to go through this, then [Gisele Pelicot] will find meaning in her suffering,” Gisele Pelicot’s attorneys declared after the decision to release the video to the public was made.
Gisele Pelicot is a modern-day hero, so definitely. She became a true feminist icon by ensuring that everyone is aware of her husband’s identity and actions; she represented women’s resistance to male aggression rather than victimization. She made a stance for all women as well as for herself, and she will always be recognized and remembered for that.
Gisele Pelicot’s fortitude and courage inspired me, restoring my faith in the strength of women and the influence of sisterhood. However, the thought of her confronting her numerous assailants on her own also prompted a persistent query in my thoughts: Where are the men? Good men, the ones who like to assert that “not all men” are where they are? Why don’t they take action to ensure that such heinous atrocities do not occur again? Why aren’t they participating in the discussion?
Gisele Pelicot is a hero: We frequently read about courageous women like Gisele Pelicot who confront male aggression and hold violent men accountable, frequently at great personal sacrifice. Many women who are frequently abused by men themselves in order to ensure that the world is a less violent and more equitable place for other women. They must give up, speak out, advocate, resist, expose, and protest. Over the years, I’ve had the honor of getting to know a lot of these women. For example, Jill Saward, who lived through the notorious “Ealing vicarage rape attack” in 1986, devoted her life to fighting against male aggression and contributed to the transformation of British laws and public perceptions on rape, rapists, and victims of sexual assault.
Why don’t more men confront male aggression the way these courageous women do?
Consider the Pelicot case. The trial revealed that Dominique Pelicot solicited other individuals to partake in his wife’s cruel mistreatment. Numerous people concurred. Those that declined opted to keep quiet. Not one of those guys possessed the moral clarity or the guts to come out, reveal what had been going on, and face any backlash in order to ensure that Gisele Pelicot’s abuse ended and that no other woman would ever be raped by her attackers. Not one of them even considered using anonymity to report the harassment. Only until Dominique Pelicot was caught recording women’s skirts at a supermarket and taken into custody were his crimes made public.
Gisele Pelicot is a hero
Why did none of the men who had been offered the chance to rape a lady who was unconscious feel the need to alert the authorities to what was occurring? Why were none of them able to take even the smallest action to put an end to the horrifying abuse of a woman?
I am aware of those guys who would be willing to jeopardize their reputations and maybe their lives in order to stop the mistreatment and exploitation of women. I know of a handful firsthand; one is my buddy Robert Jensen, who works nonstop to combat pornography. But after campaigned against male violence in Britain and abroad for a career as a feminist, I can state with confidence that we can count such individuals on one hand.
Indeed, there are thousands, if not hundreds of bearded virtue signalers who join women’s marches around the world and sport T-shirts that read, “This is what a feminist looks like.” Men who want appreciation and recognition simply for being decent human beings, after insisting on their entitlement to a place at the table and to use the podium. However, the majority of these males decline to take any chances in order to support the protection of women when given the chance to change things. When assisting women means that they must momentarily leave their comfort zone and take action, their feminism vanishes into thin air.
Today, while the trial of Dominique Pelicot and his fellow rapists continues to thrust the issue of male violence into the headlines, we should celebrate Gisele Pelicot as the great hero that she is. She is a woman who actually, tangibly, changed things. She is a brave lady who, after being mistreated and deceived by the guy closest to her, gave up on the chance to live a quiet, anonymous life in order to support and defend other women. Girls everywhere will look up to and be inspired by her in the future. However, we mustn’t forget to ask: Where are the men? while we honor her. Why is she the only brave person?Why is the expense of justice solely falling on her? Why hasn’t a single male in this horrifying case—which involves dozens upon dozens of them—risen to the occasion to inspire boys in the same manner as Gisele did for girls? Why hasn’t even one of them taken a stand to reveal the crime and defend the victim?
Guys need to speak up, stand up, and call out rapists, wife beaters, and female murderers among them if we are to ensure that what happened to Gisele does not happen to other women. To stop the violence that other men inflict on women, we need men to be true feminists who are willing to take personal risks. We need men to be feminists, and not just a select few of them. Saying “not all men” is insufficient. They must take action. Speeches, T-shirts, and meaningless proclamations of unity are not what we need. Regardless of the potential consequences, we need good men to have the courage and moral conviction to confront their fellow men who mistreat, rape, drug, and kill women.
The most heartbreaking reality this case has brought to light is that rapists and other female abusers are not anonymous, faceless beasts that lurk in shadowy corners. Most of the time, even the most horrible criminals seem like regular guys with regular lives who hurt women because they believe they can get away with it.
Dominique Pelicot was also seen as an average man up until his crimes were uncovered; he was a husband, a parent, and a respectable member of his society. He also seemed to be recruiting regular males to rape his wife. I will never forget seeing these guys in line to enter the courthouse. They were simply regular guys, dressed like any other brother, father, or husband we would see on the street.Gisele was raped by the youngest man on trial on the day his daughter was born.
Gisele Pelicot’s courageous choice to identify and publicly humiliate the guys who had sexually assaulted her set off a chain reaction that revealed the heinousness of common men. We now require the storm to persist. Gisele needs to teach males what it is to be a hero.